Years ago, sitting in the bedroom of my college apartment, I was a college redshirt senior. I was on the brink of navigating the “real world” without the protected shelter of college. I was twenty-two years old competing in my final season of track and field for Massachusetts’ flagship university. I struggled to identify myself without the title of student-athlete–a title that brought me pride for nine years. I would not have gained many of the opportunities I received without athletics–and now it was done.
I tried my hand at blogging about my experiences for both a collegiate pole vaulting blog and my own personal blog. My personal blog contained funny social situations, the antics of our college apartment we adored (named “The Zoo”), and embarrassing dating (or “dating”) tales inspired by comediennes like Chelsea Handler. I looked forward to the phone calls from my mother after some of these posts.
As mortifying as it was for some of my family members, I enjoyed writing and sharing stories. It brought out the English major in me and was a crutch for the identity crisis that followed graduating from college. I enjoyed the network of blogs I discovered and felt a sense of companionship knowing others were experiencing similar situations–or just laughing at my nonsense.
Then I stopped.
Why? Shame set in as I found my way to a career in education and teaching. I feared the day one of my students stumbled across my writing in a simple Google search. The same pride I felt sharing the ridiculousness of my early twenties had curdled to insecurity, fear, and doubt. These feelings have stayed with me for a very long time–long enough to keep me from sharing again.
A first date, a teaching career, purchasing a fixer-upper, an engagement, a dog, a wedding later…I still have no idea what I’m doing or who I am. But I do know as I inch closer and closer to thirty–I’m starting to care less about that shame.
So here we are at Creating Chrissy. I will share stories, recipes, current DIY projects, and adventures with my husband, Mr. Geek and our dog, Gronk.
Maybe it won’t make my mother blush this time. We’ll see…
I’m slowing learning that life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.